if you want to keep me
by snowyseas
Summary: aka the Tinder AU: in which Sakura swipes right too many times until she decides it's not worth it. That is, until she swipes right on a guy 4 years older than her named Naruto, who simply wants to take her out for dinner and a movie. [NaruSaku]


i got this idea because i got a tinder? and i thought it might make an interesting au for narusaku? this chapter has **kakasaku smut** so if you don't want to read that part just skip to the en, the middle section is essentially the smut heh. after all it's not like the conventional stuff i do for narusaku. please leave your comments in the review section, i would love to know what you think so far! - shina

 **.**

 **.**

 **ONE**

 **::**

Tonight was like any other: Sakura flipped through the pages of her textbook, scribbling small notes in her favorite black pen in the margins, making arrows and highlighting important sentences in pink and yawning occasionally. Her fingernails scraped lightly against the corners of the smooth paper as she turned pages, pressing her pen to her lips. She hummed a tune and circled the page numbers that she wanted to review again on a later date, so that she had enough time to study for quizzes. Always having been a diligent student that some dubbed as an overachiever, Sakura always believed that hard work would never betray you. In the end, you _had_ to be rewarded somehow.

"Shit!" an annoyed voice came from the two-bedroom apartment. Sakura sighed, sitting up.

"Everything okay in there?" she asked.

"Yeah," a redhead with glasses came out of the kitchen with a ladle in her hand, "how do you _do_ this though?"

"Okay, first of all," Sakura laughed, "you don't cook rice with a ladle."

"Then what do you use to mix the rice once it's cooked?"

"Karin," Sakura said, "what do you think that large wooden spoon in the drawer is for?"

A pause came from the other girl before she groaned, her eyes rolling in frustration. "This is why we always order pizza."

"We can't spend that much money this month."

"I know, I know." Karin mumbled and sighed as she laid the ladle in the sink. She sat at their breakfast counter and rested her chin in her hand as she watched Sakura thoughtfully. At this point, the pink-haired girl was going through her notes one more time, mouthing the words and terms she needed to remember. Karin cleared her throat.

"What?" Sakura said.

"You know you've been at it for four hours now, right?"

"Yeah, so?"

"You always ace those fucking quizzes anyway," Karin replied, "I don't know why you still try so hard."

"Hard work -"

"- never betrays you, I know," she said, waving her hand in front of her face, dismissing Sakura's repeated motto, "but don't you think you're being too hard on yourself?"

"Why?"

"You're on the Dean's list."

"And?"

"That's like, a right of passage, for you to cut loose and have a little bit of fun."

With a thump, Sakura's back hit the futon she had been lying and sitting on, her expression somewhat tired. She rolled over onto her stomach and watched Karin through her front bangs, knowing that her best friend and roommate was right - overworking yourself always led to bad things, like sickness or the inability to take an exam. It had only happened once before, and even though her teachers had been completely understanding of it and gave her a second chance, she couldn't get the taste of humility out of her mouth. She tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and ran her fingers through her thick pink locks, grunting when she pulled out more than a few hairs in the process.

"See?" Karin said. "You're getting so stressed that your hair is coming out."

"It's supposed to happen."

"Not as often as you say it should."

"I have long hair."

"So do I, but I don't shed that much," Karin said jokingly as she got up and stepped into the kitchen once again.

Standing up, Sakura turned off the television that had previously been playing in the background before she started studying, and as she walked towards the kitchen, she grabbed her cell phone from off the console table where they chucked their bills after paying them and sat at the counter, checking her messages. She frowned as she scrolled through endless and tiresome messages from guys on Tinder who wanted nothing but to get in her pants. Reading them all, she decided not to answer any of them, setting her phone down and locking it as she pressed her fingers to her eyelids, soothing the burning she felt in them.

"What's wrong? No messages?"

"Too _many_ messages, Karin."

"Since when do _you_ not want a lot of messages?"

"Since they all started messaging me with the same thing."

"You're too picky," Karin sighed as she handed Sakura a plate with rice and fish in it.

"Well, of course," she replied, "he'd have to be really hot for me to want to sleep with him."

Picking up her chopsticks, she began stuffing the food inside her mouth, her grumbling stomach finally being settled down. Karin sat across from her and reached for her phone, opening the app and looking through the photos Sakura had posted, her eyebrows shooting up. Sakura grinned at her best friend's reaction.

"These are…" Karin started.

"Cute?"

" _Provocative_ ," Karin said, nodding. Sakura laughed wholeheartedly.

"Of course _you_ would say that!"

"No, for real though," Karin said, "if you were gay, I'd take you home."

"I already live here."

"But you're straight."

"I still live here."

Karin grinned and faced the screen towards her best friend, pointing at a guy who was not that much older than Sakura, and while he wasn't eye candy, he was still not bad to look at. Sakura shook her head though, her eyes filled with something similar to disgust.

"What's wrong with him?" Karin asked.

"Too showy."

"But he's our age."

"I tend to go for older," Sakura shrugged as she took a sip of water.

"Okay, _Your Highness_ ," Karin retorted as she swiped left, over and over again as Sakura shook her head or even started laughing when the redhead thought there was a real possibility that she might be interested in the guys who had dreadlocks or who posted the classic boy selfie. Eventually, they fell upon a man whose age was written to be thirty, but his face certainly didn't give off that vibe. Just as Karin's finger was about to swipe left, Sakura stopped her.

" _Seriously_? This guy?" Karin said.

"What? He's hot!"

"He's got a scar on his left eye."

"That's hot."

"He's way too old for you."

"Nine years isn't too bad."

" _Sakura_."

" _Karin_ , it's not that bad. He looks fine in a suit, too!" Sakura said enthusiastically. Karin watched as the pink-haired girl grabbed her phone and knew the glint in her eyes all too well - she had come home from clubbing with that same look as she dragged a guy to her room. On those nights, Karin found it hard to sleep - not with the grunting and moaning she could hear through the thin walls. She always ended up making _breakfast_ for these guys, too. Karin sighed, giving up in trying to convince Sakura that this was a bad idea.

"I want you to have fun, but -"

"I _am_ having fun."

"By sleeping around? Sakura -"

"I know you're looking out for me," Sakura whispered, "but now it feels like you're being my mom."

"I'm not, though."

"Then you should be okay with this, right?"

It took a few minutes for Karin to be able to nod and it was only because it had been less than a year since Sakura broke up with her last boyfriend, and she had already slept with five guys. She knew her best friend well; she liked to drown her sorrows by drinking and dancing and kissing strangers, sticking her tongue in their mouths as she cupped them through their pants. She had no self-control because she so desperately wanted to push out the darkness her heart was in, though of course, it wasn't a constructive way to fix herself. Despite knowing her own weakness, Sakura still continued to scour for men to sleep with, because she no longer wanted to have a heart. It was hurting the both of them for various reasons that couldn't even be counted, yet all Karin could do was watch as her best friend slowly became hollow and empty.

"Oh, look at that," Sakura said, "it's a match!"

"Are you gonna message him first?"

"Nah," she replied softly,"let him come after me."

"Gee," Karin laughed, "no wonder every time you go clubbing, you always end up kissing someone."

Smiling, Sakura continued to eat and talk with Karin - about their classes, about their exams, about that cute girl Karin met at the library and wanted to ask out, about Sakura's academic rival who, no matter what he did, couldn't beat her in grades. They laughed and gave each other advice, just as they had done plenty of nights ever since high school. Through financial problems, they both worked extra hours at their part-times, and when Karin fought with her cousin, Sakura was there to comfort her. Although lately, Karin wasn't able to properly be supportive of Sakura, she still made sure to be on standby, in case her best friend needed her.

As Sakura cleared away the dishes and washed them, her phone vibrated against the countertop. Karin raised an eyebrow and checked the name.

"You have a match with the thirty-year-old."

"What's his name again?"

"Kakashi."

"Well," Sakura grinned, "looks like I'm gonna be up all night talking to him."

"Talking?"

"I've gotta know what he likes first."

Karin rolled her eyes as she handed the cell phone to Sakura, whose expression was more empty than mischievous. She stood up and helped Sakura pick her books off the floor and handed them to her wordlessly, knowing better than to open her mouth and say 'I hope you know what you are doing', because the truth was that Karin knew Sakura _didn't_ know what she was doing. It was a phase, one that Karin couldn't just pull her out of.

"How are you gonna talk to him?" Karin asked out of morbid curiosity.

"I don't know," she replied, "but I could really get laid tomorrow."

With that, Karin nodded and headed off towards her bedroom. As she closed the door, she saw Sakura's mask fall and felt a pang in her heart, because if the pink-haired girl who was studying to be a veterinarian, the girl who loved sweets and hated anything spicy, the girl who had defended her when she had been bullied couldn't trust her - who _could_ she trust?

.

.

.

It was raining the next day.

The drops fell from the sky and ran across roof shingles and the gravel of roads that buses, cars, and even bicycles quickly traversed along. Holding onto her umbrella, Sakura watched and searched among the crowd for a grey-haired man with a scar on his left eye, her fingers suddenly turning cold and rigid. They had spoken all night - he asked her about her dreams for the future, and she asked about his. She flirted here and there, and he played along, giving her the reaction she so craved.

He was a gentleman, which made Sakura's brow furrow.

 _What the hell was he doing on Tinder_? she thought to herself. Some people did want to make friends there, though it was unconventional to think that someone like Kakashi honestly wanted to make friends. He was attractive, successful, and definitely one hell of a smooth talker. When she usually spoke to her matches, they got right down to business; asking her if she was a virgin and if she liked a certain type of guy, if she preferred tattoos - the usual questions before they suggested a rendezvous. When Kakashi did anything but, Sakura felt like more of a person, like she _mattered._

She knew that sort of thinking was dangerous in this game.

"Sakura?" a deep voice sounded in her ears, causing her to turn to her left.

Before her, a somewhat tall man stood before her, his shirt clinging to his body. He panted and rested his hands on his knees before he took a deep breath and looked at her properly, his sultry, dark eyes smiling along with his lips. Sakura blinked - she didn't know that he was _this_ attractive, because clearly enough, the photos were absolutely no indication of the fact that he was not photogenic at all, and they did his appearances no justice. She shifted her weight and turned towards him, already feeling a fire burning deep in her lower belly.

"You're Kakashi?!" she asked incredulously.

"Yeah," he grinned, scratching the back of his head, "sorry I'm late. I got caught up in the rain."

"It is pouring down heavily today," she mused, looking up towards the sky from under her clear umbrella.

It was silent for a few minutes as she watched the rain fall, with Kakashi not uttering a single word. She came to her senses when, from her peripheral vision, she saw him shiver. Averting her gaze to him, she smiled warmly, hoping that it was enough until they found somewhere private.

"You didn't bring an umbrella," she noted.

"I was in a rush."

"You were still late."

"I'm a little bit of a romantic."

"How so?" she asked, genuinely curious.

His eyes roamed over her face and she could feel that he was searching for something. She didn't know what it was, admittedly, but she waited patiently as he stared at her, seeming to attempt to form his thoughts into words. Perhaps he wasn't very good at that in real life.

"I like the rain," he finally said. With one hand, he pushed back his wet hair and gave her a small smile. Although it wasn't much of an explanation, there seemed to be many layers to him that she didn't have the time to peel away. The only thing she came here for today was to peel away his clothes, which at this point, were clinging to him even more, revealing ridges and muscles she didn't want to tear her eyes away from.

"Don't you?" he asked her.

She thought for a moment, not wanting to seem rude. "Only when everything seems hopeless."

Reaching for his hand, Sakura lifted her umbrella so it housed the two of them, and just like that, they walked off towards the direction of the expensive hotels, where Kakashi apparently had reserved a room. She felt her heart hammering in her chest, and it was a mystery to her that no matter how many times she did this, she was always nervous when she was sober. He reached for her hand and held it loosely and although he smiled at her so warmly, she didn't feel anything in her blood.

Today, she loved the rain.

.

.

.

His kisses were warm, calculated, softly pressed against her own mouth. His fingers brushed the surface of her skin, the curves of her thighs and her waist, then tangled themselves in her hair as he pushed her back onto the bed. There was no ferocity. There was no aggression. Pressing his lips to her neck and moving to her collarbone, he hummed. Calloused fingers unbuttoned her jeans and pulled them off gently, throwing them across the room. She let him kiss her shoulders and his hands stroked her through her lace underwear, moving upwards towards her ribcage.

"Are you going to take this off?" he said, his voice low.

She sat up to kiss him harder, and he seemed to respond to it better, his breath catching in his throat. Carefully, he lifted her shirt over her head, staring at her face for a few seconds before he cupped her chin and kissed her, harder this time. Sakura wrapped her arms around his shoulders, scrambling to take the wet garment off him, her hunger simmering and spreading quickly through her veins.

"Patience," he murmured against her mouth, "is a virtue, _Sakura_."

"No," she replied.

Taking her hands, he pressed them to his chest, prompting her to feel him slowly - methodically. He watched her face through half-opened lids, and as if the feel of him wasn't enough, Sakura felt herself losing her mind at the look he was giving her. It was vile, it was _filthy_ , and downright hungry, but he hid it behind his easy smiles and his gentle touches. Suddenly, she wanted nothing more than for him to rip off the lingerie she wore. He pressed kisses down along her stomach, lingering at her belly button before his breath seeped through her underwear, hot and driving her insane.

"Have you been eaten out before?" he whispered.

She could only shake her head as he lifted her legs over his shoulders, elevating her hips so she could see _exactly_ what he was doing. With one hand, he pushed aside the black lace and began licking his way into her ever so slowly, to the point that, even though it was not rough, his lips and his tongue were strong enough to cause her insides to stir. She laid one hand on his head, and before she could grab at his hair, he pressed his face harder into her, making her mouth fall open. She sighed and let out small moans as he used his fingers to aid his mouth and she could feel him smiling, could see the smirk in his eyes. She wanted to laugh - this was _definitely_ one of her better hookups.

Sakura wasn't entirely sure how Kakashi did this with his mouth that started to push her off the edge, but he enveloped her clit with and very slowly, but very firmly, ran his tongue along it, sucking every now and then. He watched her stomach quiver and he pinned it down with his hands, closing his eyes as Sakura's moans gradually grew louder and more frequently. As her hands once again flew to his head, he pulled his face away from her and wiped his mouth. A smile spread across his lips and Sakura suddenly knew what she wanted. As soon as he unbuckled his belt, she pulled him onto the bed and quickly straddled him, pulling down the slacks _for_ him. Kakashi watched with curiosity as she yanked them off his ankles and stroked him through his briefs.

"You work fast," he whispered, his voice hoarse.

"When you don't just stick your dick in me," Sakura said as she peeled off the garment, "you'll definitely get a chance of pace."

Kakashi sat up and kissed her much harder than he did before, pulling her head impossibly closer by her neck. His fingers massaged the nape of it as he pried her mouth open and licked his way into her mouth. Sakura groaned when he nibbled on her bottom lip and placed herself right above his groin and before she could position herself, Kakashi pulled her down onto him, the entirety of him pushing deep into her, making her cry out.

This time, Kakashi wasn't gentle, and continued to ram into her until her grip on his shoulders was beginning to feel sore. He nibbled her neck and licked a long strip from the base of her collarbone all the way up to her throat, stopping there to pepper it with kisses.

Before long, Sakura cried out and her eyes fell closed as the walls of her insides contracted, particularly when Kakashi's hips began to move faster, his own pants and groans mixing with hers and filling the room.

She fell onto him, her petite breasts pressing against his own chest as they heaved and tried to breathe in their euphoria. His fingers rubbed her lower back and moved towards her hips where his large hands gently rubbed, somewhat apologizing for the brutality that existed only towards the end. It was silent for a few minutes and despite the physical pleasure, Sakura felt her heart empty itself of emotion, particularly because she knew exactly what this was.

"Sakura," Kakashi said.

"Yes?"

"Have you ever loved someone?"

"Yes."

"How badly did they break your heart?"

Not daring to move, Sakura ran her fingers through his hair and tried hard not to show her eyes to him, because then he would see the answer to his question. Even if he knew nothing about her, he was obviously someone that was perceptive. That was _how_ older men generally made their way into younger women's hearts. She sighed.

"Enough for me to want to do this."

Kakashi thought for a moment and his silence was more than enough for Sakura - she knew what he was thinking. That she was the broken girl who found solace in sex, in alcohol, in the way strangers looked at her hungrily. She waited for him to tell her goodbye and never call her again, but as she expected for the blow, he kissed her collarbone gently instead and whispered the very thing she didn't expect him to say, but perhaps the very same thing he _would_ say if she knew him better:

"The condition of your heart doesn't define where you're headed towards."

Bowing her head, Sakura nodded slowly as tears brimmed her eyes from the weight of the words of a man who knew nothing about her, except that the pieces of herself were too scattered that even he could see she was struggling to put them back together. He rubbed her back gently and just like that, Sakura's walls were torn down far enough for her to understand her own heart just a little better.

.

.

.

The sky was dark and despite being in the city, Sakura could see a few stars twinkling as she and Kakashi walked towards the station. It was a mostly silent walk, with him occasionally asking her about her life. She answered quietly and curtly, mostly because she had shown him a part of herself she promised she wouldn't show anyone - not even Karin.

The platform to the trains were mostly empty and without a word, they both stood behind the yellow line, waiting patiently for the next train. Kakashi looked up every now and then to check whether the train had been delayed, and then would fidget with his now dry shirt and clear his throat. Paying no mind, Sakura checked her phone, and saw that Karin had called her five times in the last two hours. She sighed deeply.

"Your sister?"

"My best friend. And roommate."

"She must love you a lot," Kakashi whispered.

"She's… protective."

"Why's that?"

"Because she thinks I don't know what I'm doing."

She looked at him then, and there was an emotion in his eyes she didn't know how to read. Opting for smiling, Sakura's heart felt heavier despite the grin on her face, despite the muscles that were supposed to release endorphins in her brain and make her feel happier. Sometimes, she felt as though her body betrayed her. She heard Kakashi sigh and when she looked at him again, he was rubbing the nape of his neck.

"You seem really troubled."

She didn't answer.

"I can't stand watching someone as young as you losing hope."

She kept her eyes on the railway before her.

"Things _do_ get better, Sakura."

"When?" she said, her lips hardly murmuring.

"Soon enough," Kakashi replied, "but in the meantime, if you need me, you can call me."

"What?" she chuckled.

"Seriously," he said, "if you need to talk, I'll listen."

Sakura chose not to answer as the train pulled into the tracks, slowly reaching a halt. Her mind was still wandering as they stepped onto the car train, even as Kakashi offered for her to sit down while he stood before her. Even while he walked her to the closest landmark near the apartment, she said nothing. Kakashi leaned forward and kissed the top of her head and gave her a friendly hug, reminding her to call him if she needed anything. She nodded numbly and waved him goodbye, watching his silhouette disappear with the street lights as he walked further and further away from her.

 _What do I do now_? she thought as she sat on a stoop in front of her apartment.

Staring at the window she knew Karin was near, Sakura waited. She wasn't sure for what, but she waited and looked up towards the sky, as though looking for some kind of answer for the loneliness in her heart that she constantly felt, despite never being alone. Holding her face in her hands, she sighed deeply, trying to find some semblance of composure before she faced her best friend - before she had to _lie_ once again about being alright.

It wasn't long before the redhead opened the door and sat beside Sakura, refusing to say even one word. At the touch of her hand, Sakura broke completely and cried into Karin's shoulder, muttering unintelligible profanities about how she didn't deserve to feel this empty, about how she shouldn't have started doing this in the first place, about how all she wanted was to stop feeling pain.

And all Karin could do was nod and allow Sakura to break her own heart, without being able to help pick up the pieces.


End file.
